The Verve - A Man Called Sun

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David Gilmour - Wish You Were Here 1080p HD

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Fleetwood Mac - Dreams [with lyrics]

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The Verve-One Way To Go

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The Verve - Back On My Feet Again

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LTJ Bukem studio set '95 - Love Of Life 'Intelligent Jungle'

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What i would describe as my soul

utopia247

After the loss of many loved one's

And thinking is there truly life after death.

At  the age of 20 the love of my life died and i kept analysing whether or not i would see and feel chrystal's warmth once again .

I COULD NOT COME TO A CONCLUSION.

And i became stressed , as every time i thought i had come up with an answer that would put my mind to rest the coin would flip and leave me questioning once more.

This went on every day for over a year.

21 years after chrystal died i still think about her, plus other loved ones i have lost.

The soul i said to my self what is a soul describe it to me please.

Then one day i was sat in my arm chair and it just came to me.

The body is a glove, a shell of meat etc.

If i was to leave a lump of steak on the kitchen side board, after some time the steak would rot. and decay.

The body is a very very complex piece of kit that no one could make.

But just like the steak , after time the body also decays .

Leaving my spirit to move on .

To where i have not a clue.

but due to the complexity , the way the body is made all the organs perfectly designed and made.

The soul leaves and chrystals and my soul search and find one another.

We are both a force,an energy. full of love and warmth.

Chrystal will then guide me to all my loved ones that at one point i thought were lost.

Unity we entwine and feel each others warmth and caress which we learnt when we were in our body's our brain taught us the way to love and feel.

And thats where i will all way's be.

Forever and ultimately stay in an energy a force full of love and care surrounded by the Ora

MUCH LOVE.

K.MOORE 

One more liberal time.

IS still attached to pain.

And as the more i live.

The more i dive.

HYPOCRISY.

Please don't douse me.

Nor dought me.

As i make lye's from promises.

Forge honesty.

And plaine old sorrys.

Accumilate.

So easy SORRY.

aRE YOU FOR REAL.

I took his fucking head off.

But ime so so sorry.

Sorry.

Thanks but fuck off.

EXcuse me .

I appologise for the constant cursing.

SOO fucking sorry.

YOUR abliged.

And to be frank.

YOU dont give a wank.

Umm i wonder

Wander the lonely streets.

And meet.

Every eye .

Give me that excuse.

ALl  is abuse.

Have you seen the stars lately.

How is the moon today.

The sun .

I gaze.

Into the haze.

AS I LASE ON THE BASE .

enough ,is not enough.

i will continue you see .

as to me .

I BELONG

LIFE,WITH ITS FAIRY TALE LIES

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LIFE WITH ALL ITS PROMISING LIES
MY FATHER DIED ,EATEN ALIVE BY CANCER.
WATCHING .
HOLDING,
THOSE COLD,COLD HANDS.
DEHYDRATED .
NIL BY MOUTH.
THE ELEPHANTS ARE IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM.
WHICH WAS FULL OF DOOM & GLOOM.
I AM SORRY BUT I JUST CANT GET IT.
WHY HUMANS HAVE TO SUFFER SUCH A MISERABLE DEATH.
WE HAVE NO RITE TO HAVE EUTHANASIA.
YET A DOG CAN BE PUT OUT OF THE PAIN AND SUFFERING BY BEING PUT TO SLEEP.
WE ENTER THIS WORLD KICKING & SCREAMING THEN LEAVE IT KICKING & SCREAMING.
IF I KNEW MY FATHER BEFORE HAND WOULD BE PUT ON THE LIVERPOOL CARE PATHWAY.
WHICH IS A LONG PATHWAY FULL OF PAINE AND MISERY.
IF ONLY I COULD KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON .
NO ONE WOULD HAVE STOPPED ME PUSHING MY DAD OUT OF THE HOSPICE IN A WHEEL CHAIR,
NO ONE.
DO THEY THINK I WOULD HAVE SAT THERE WATCHING MY DAD DIE WRIGGLING IN THAT BED.
NOT A HOPE.
AND YET IT STILL GOES ON.
PAINE AFTER PAINE, MISERY AFTER MISERY.
I LOVE YOU FATHER .
ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL.
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
.   

PETE DOHERTY

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So i arrive at stanstead (london)

Then a free ride on the bus to hackney.

Spot a beggar.

And off we go to score.

Job done,

Then the bus to shorditch .

Where i thought i had already paid for bed and breakfast.

No.

I over spent , so no roof for my head tonight.

Back to hackney empire.

TICKET IN BAG .

TO SEE PETE DOHERTY LIVE.

All is good till im asked to open my bag.

Where i left pariffinalia.

I GO TO PUT IT IN THE BIN WHEN I HERE.

Whats that.

I keep walking acting deaf.

And get lost in the crowd.

Untill i feel a beady eye watching me.

Look to my right and this bald headed gorilla.

Is looking at me, staring right into me.

I just jump around and try and enjoy myself.

Turns out to be a blinding gig.

And pete doesnt let me down.

Blinding.

After.

I walk the streets of london.

Bethnal green, back to bloody hackney, then i feel my feet killing me.

I walk to Trafalgar square.

Where my feet have had enough.

Sit there for a couple of hours.

Then train back home.

My feet swollen with burst blisters the size of bomb craters.

10 days later my feet still infectious and bloody painful.

But you know what.

I would do it all again.

She was just a poor girl

from the town.

No means or ways to make a pound ,

wandering  , aimlessly.

Passing restaurant after restaurant .

Her belly starts yelling.

Reminding her of how hungry she is.

Sitting whilst it is lashing down with rain.

The poor girl begins her job.

Begging

Feeling ashamed, she sits on a bit of cardboard .

With a hat with a few coppers in it, lays in front of her.

people pass & go.

Now and then a passer by drops some shrapnel (coppers) into the hat,

A man drunk as a skunk passes  by then returns saying,

"here i will give ya £10 if  i can shag ya"

"No thanks"

She replies

But it keeps crossing her mind.

"ahhhhhh fuck you ,fucking slag"

Followed by spiting, from the disgusting man.

The cold and rain have taken there toll.

She begins to make her way home.

 But this time alone.

As her boyfriend of 4 years dies from a drug overdose.

She misses him so much.

She passes the places he & her whilst in a knot used to live.

Wearing worn trainers, blue jeans, & a black puffer jacket.

On she marches to get some chips with the copper and odd silver she got from begging.

She buys as many chips as she can.

And sits on a stool by the window.

Watching the rain poor down.

Chips finished.

Onwards to home.

Walking down a alley.

She grabs a mattress and throws it on top of a barbed wire fence.

She then scales the fence and uses the mattress to get over the barbed wire.

Hiding the mattress.

She continues to her home.

To her humble abode at last.

Climbing through,

God knows what.

Entering, she fumbles about looking for her lantern.

Ha ha got ya.

She lights a candle 

Enabling her to see better.

The lantern is lit.

And sleeping bag, which the church gave her .

Is quickly filled.

The rest of the home is made from cardboard.

Which by all means doesn't keep one warm in winter

But takes the edge off.

From a distance she can hear the man who offered her money for sex.

Has he followed her ?

"Here slag , still got that tenner, if you want to come and get it"

She lays thinking about that "10 and what she could get with it,

N o she says to herself, no,no,no

I'm not a prostitute.

Never have and never will.

After a while the man goes .

And the poor girl lays her head down 

To get some sleep,

She says goodnight to Steve .

The love of her life.

She misses him so much

Laying and thinking.

She falls asleep. 

Never to awake again.

Was it suicide, 

Did her body give up after a life of strife.

Was it hypothermia 

Or was it her heart.

Longing to be with Steve .

Did she pine away.

Leaving the town,

Without a frown.

Was it the £10 MAN.

sexually frustrated 

When she was found there was indications of strangulization

And also there was a £10 note.

TO BE CONINUED,,,,,,

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOL

The beautiful lady.

I spot.

But not in return.

I have no confidence to assert myself,

And walk over to make conversation.

Instead i walk home..

The loneliest place in town.

To do the same old.

Sweep & mop and clean.

Sit watching tv.

But not acknowledging whats on the tele.

In a dase.

Heart is ablaze.

Plus hungry for the love we so, so need.

After a while the depression kicks in.

And every thing i love to do ,.

Flys out the window.

Sit there thoughts running wild.

Feeling drained and angry.

Blaming the remote control, that i dropped on the floor,

F-----g thing.

To the shop buy some alcohol.

Like paying a prostitute for sex (never done that).

The alcohol takes the worries & the pain away . (for a while).

And becomes my relationship.

What have i come to.

When the only relationship i have .

is with the silent killer.

Alcohol .

To be continued xx

LONELY STREETS

utopia247

Walking the lonely streets.

The man walks the same root.

Same paving stones.

Same lampposts.

Same walk.

Everything the same.

Part form the ciggerate buts .

And paper.

Plus the odd Tenner .

Blown about  by the wind.

Carrying, on he stumbles .

And lays on the grass.

The sky has beautiful  shinning .stars.

In his mind, thinking.

wouldn't it be amazing.

If only i had .

HAD.

A.

Wonderful lady.

By me.

But the man .

Still alone.

To this day..

Still ..

Walks .

Those .

Lonely streets.

in loving memory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6m0RvQrY_c

Sorry for being Honest

utopia247

My secrets can be told.

I lie with the truth.

Shared what you said in confidence .

Broke the promises i made.

Believe the unbelievable.

Hand on heart, other on the bible,

Take the oath .

Only to spill an alibi

Which was fabricated all the way.

Sorry.

Say your sorry once more.

In a drunken rage, murder occurs.

I'm so sorry but i was out of it on alcohol .

An excuse.

Honestly i did lie.

I admit i am loyal.

To the word.

Have regretted my regrets.

Repent your sins .

But are you to ashamed...

Honesty is the key.

How far can ones honesty be..

utopia247

I sit on my old bed.

Of which is tatterd now.

The bed i used, whilst living with my mother.

Blimey all sorts of shit was brought back to this bedroom.

IE, POLICE, me coverd in blood, getting high,

As the world passes by

All that,

Feel content.

Anxiety levels, below 0.

11-16 pm.

No alcohol for a couple a weeks.

Proud feeling wraps round me.

Followed by thoughts of positive tracks.

Tracks of which i follow.

And surround myself with loving feelings.

Feelings i havent felt for couple years.

Peace of mind.

I allow myself to absorb the love spilt from my daughter.

Chatter box that she is .

Is my special girl .

keeps me going.

Please excuse me, jumping from hear to there.

Free flow.

Just write what pops to the mind.

Away we go.

A beautiful smile from lois.

I warm up.

Mental block.

Xmas 2 days away.

Then into 2015.

gOING TO WRAP THIS UP FOR NOW.

IT SHALL BE KEPT AS A DRAFT.

Good bye for now.

kind loving thoughts.

Shall hover .

Flow through us.

abide by us .

I wrap this up.

Wishing everybody a great xmas.

And a wonderful new year.

Much love to you all

Dangerous thoughts.

utopia247

whilst sitting alone.

4 walls surround  me.

Suffocate me.

IF .

I allowed it.

The power of the mind.

I can break free.

from this mental.

Torture.

No one has to beat me up .

A i do enough of that myself.

The chit chat.

never stops.

ALL negative.

Thoughts run rapidly.

Across my mind.

Which leads to .

Anxiety.

Depression.

And so on.

MY home becomes a prison.

Projected from my .

Stinking thinking .

I challenge my thoughts.

BUT its not easy.

In my arm chair.

Cuddled up . by the arms of my chair.

I allow myself to think.

what i have in my life.

A lovely flat.

beautiful daughter.

loving family.

ETC ETC.



Balance my thoughts.

Break down the walls.

using my mind.

The prison i built around myself.

Is diminished.

I'm still sat in my cosy chair.

Walls disappear.

Its me flat on my chair.

The sky is blue.

The sun beaming.

As i relax .

Smelling the fresh cut grass.

That seeps .

Welcomed in through my window.

I'm relaxed.

Not disturbed .

Appreciate what we have.

As there is always .

Away to glory.

BLINDED MIND

Feeling insane.

Below the poring.

Raine.

A mother to be.

Wishing for 3.

Back out at sea.

She misses me.

waves.

Break over me.

This way .

And that way.

Why .

can i not.

See.

The danger.

That lays.

Right in front.

Of me.

SITTING BY THE LAKE

The sun beams down.

as i lay.

on the damp grass.

not bothered by the damp.

As i look across the.

lake.

Carp swim close to the surface.

Lapping the suns warmth.

Sky..

So so blue.

not a grey cloud.

to be seen.

A slight cool breeze .

Keeps me cool.

A bee with its beautiful colour.

Working hard away.

Smell the mixed sent.

Flowers.

Grass.

Trees.

surrounded by leaves.

walk ways .

where people oftenly.

use the same path.

leads me into a.

labyrinth.

Trees.

this way and that.

Muddy walk ways .

Here, there,and .

every where.

time passes.

i leave the mixed walk ways .

Where I'm sure many get lost.

out in the open.

field up on field.

a rusty old.

hanger.

Tractors.

and a loud generator.

rattling away.

Sheep, cows .
etc, etc.

Birds fly land on branches.

i sit.

Roll a fag.

smoke it whilst.

looking around.

i feel content.

At one .

with the beauty about.

Nature .

Whilst I'm there.

Gives me a piece of mind.

(piece, of mind).

No .

PEACE of MIND.

GOD.

GREAT, OUT, DOORS.

Back next to the lake.

 A grass snake.

swims across the water.

With its lovely .

Gold coloured collar.

I'm put in a trance.

As i watch this beautiful .

Creature.

The sun says good by.

As it starts to rest.

Sky mixed with colours.

Blue, green, red,turquoise.

I'm up and off back home.

saying goodnight .

to such a beautiful.

sight .

good, night, god bless.

 for now.

i also must rest.

be assured.

i shall.

come back and vist you.

once again.

my.

Deer, deer.

friend .

LIFE CAN BE A STRUGGLE

life can certainly be hard

a struggle.

there is so much filth.

disgusting people.

most people are.

the most animalistic.

of all.

that drains .

this planet.

but then.

not all.

is sickening.

life can be beautiful.

this planet has alot to offer.

so why is there so much.

pain and misery.

caused by others.

maybe the way they were brought up.

Blame the parents ?

born with a mind.

that is sick .

Ill ?

what my eyes have witnessed.

Is enough to make most.

Vomit.

the robbing.

Thieving.

Violence.

to the extreme.

Drug abuse.

Etc etc.

things i have seen on TV.

Most religions at war.

Killing for land.

Money.

Sex.

partner has betrayed one.

and on and on.

i could be here for hours.

but don't want to bore you.

or sicken.

you.

Although there is.

beauty.

THE trees.

grass we lay on .

on a sunny day.

the Rivers.

that lead to the ocean.

the sea life.

flowers.

pure and true.

the moon.

controlling the rivers, tide.

is life what we make?

is life for some better off than others.

is it the hand we are dealt?.

way we are brought up?

Maybe no one knows.

maybe some think they know.

but what i know.

is that life can be.

truly a struggle.