Due to me going ruthlessly mad.
Yes i think my mind has had enough.
Past two weeks .
No sorry..
Past 6 weeks..
Back in 1996
I wake stumble to my bathroom.
Lock the door.
Check make sure its locked (the bathroom door).
Grab my Pandora's box (steel Guinness case).
Open it.
Grab a 1ml.
Spoon lays waiting anticipating, the powder.
Bight the previously melted bag off.
Teeth rip it apart.
Sprinkle some magic onto the overly whelmed spoon.
A little citric acid...
Go back grab the 1ml..
Turn the tap ..
And cup water, whilst draining the palm of my hand ..
Syringe full enough .
Oh yes.
Squirt water into the mixture of citric acid &..
Lighter please.
Flames cup the sacred spoon of doom.
Slowly the acid brakes down and cooks the poppy seed waste.
Filter .
Don't want any more shite other than the euphoric hit flowing through my veins.
1ml syringe onto filter.
Slowly drain the hungry spoon.
VEINS thick as Arnie's (Arnold Schwarzenegger, or something like that).
I tense up.
Plug the spike into my vein.
And i tell you things werent quite the same.
I wake in a twilight zone.
On my knees .
BAG of utopia held up in the air.
For what i do not know.
Probably saving it from ending up all over the floor.
You see i don't know how long i was holding this bag in the air for.
Could of been hours.
But what about me .
I just fell .
Into a world of comfort & contentment.
Whilst on my knees..
Struggling to hold the bag of gloom..
Before its dropped & useless.
Yes 6 weeks now .
Nothing but drugs.
YES .
I have relapsed.
Once again.
But theres not to much Paine.
My mind i cant explain.
Kinda Trippe.
SORT of fucked up.
Heroin.
What a label.
The fucking hero.
Are you for real.
Six weeks to long.
Or not enough.
Cant fucking win either way.
Drugs i respect.
Cos i don't know anything .
That could do the damage drugs do ..
You name it drugs has done it .
Its been before your wife.
Your kids.
YOUR FREEDOM.
Your insanity.
Your once moralistic way.
All out the way.
For drugs.
Sell yourself.
Sell your soul.
If only..
It lead to a friendly goal.
I have for (like i said ).
Six weeks.been,
Pumping my veins body & soul.
With a needless to say fractured scared soul ..
