I hope and not pray.
Sick of praying, to no avail.
That lois my daughter.
Does not follow the dark & ever lasting.
Twisted road i took.
My life has always been controlled.
By substances or people
All because they followed the line.
He/she wears.
Uniform.
Mainly blue & white.
AUTHORITY.
Me,lived a wild & troublesome life.
Pure fucked upness ?.
I question.
My fucked upness.
Am i justified.
Can i justify the abuse i put myself through.
Or am i right in this fucked up world.
Am i escaping reality.
Or denial.
Reality is shit .
Or is it my denial of this shite existence.
That i have & owe responsibility.
Free..
Will i ever be
I Rome from town to town.
Left are the once towns. free.
Now destruction.
Where ever i go.
Ive done wrong, no saint.
And have morals.
I used to thieve or chor.
Anything.
Just so i could buy drugs and alcohol.
And give myself the misery.
Of a body mind and spirit.
Already dead.
On the borderline
Driving myself mad.
Yea i take responsibility for my misery.
Most time spent repeating .
The false happiness .
I seek that entails ...
Death and or madness.
Am i trying to kill myself.
By my deeply ingrained denial.
Ive done wrong, no saint am i.
Still have morals. Responsibility's to take care of.
Most time ,ime killing myself.
Karma.
Its not done ..
Take drugs & expect no less than..
Paine, Grief, Regret...
You will always feel lonely.
Whilst in the company of others,loved ones,etc..
Feel wrong with out so.
You will isolate yourself.
As the addiction grows.
Whilst you weep & feel sorry for yourself...
You become not obsessed but.
Possessed by the drug of your choice.
Or are you a Polly user.(take anything to suppress the current emotion).
You shall, as mentioned in another writing of mine.
Thieve, beg, brake promises ... (WITH OUT GOING TO THE DEPTHS.OF ADDICTION)
This constant struggle to stay on the straight and narrow.
Grinds you down.
Repeating, the sacred words.
I WILL NEVER.
Till the time comes ...
When you sell out.
Sell your broken dead soul.
Plus your last piece of mind ..
Only for one more shot, HIT..
One more to many.
But if it comforts you .
And you can ..
As you may think.
Function in today's world.
Plus carry yourself.
Then good luck..
On the borderline
Driving myself mad.
Yea i take responsibility for my misery.
Most time spent repeating .
The false happiness .
I seek that entails ...
Death and or madness.
Am i trying to kill myself.
By my deeply ingrained denial.
Ive done wrong, no saint am i.
Still have morals. Responsibility's to take care of.
Most time ,ime killing myself.
Karma.
Its not done ..
Take drugs & expect no less than..
Paine, Grief, Regret...
You will always feel lonely.
Whilst in the company of others,loved ones,etc..
Feel wrong with out so.
You will isolate yourself.
As the addiction grows.
Whilst you weep & feel sorry for yourself...
You become not obsessed but.
Possessed by the drug of your choice.
Or are you a Polly user.(take anything to suppress the current emotion).
You shall, as mentioned in another writing of mine.
Thieve, beg, brake promises ... (WITH OUT GOING TO THE DEPTHS.OF ADDICTION)
This constant struggle to stay on the straight and narrow.
Grinds you down.
Repeating, the sacred words.
I WILL NEVER.
Till the time comes ...
When you sell out.
Sell your broken dead soul.
Plus your last piece of mind ..
Only for one more shot, HIT..
One more to many.
But if it comforts you .
And you can ..
As you may think.
Function in today's world.
Plus carry yourself.
Then good luck..
